One of the consequences of the coronavirus has been that we have had to live in various states of isolation. As a result, our regular routines have been interrupted and our normal rhythms broken. This break in our usual patterns has been a source of great stress and anxiety for many people.
The task of finding a new rhythm and new routine can be challenging so I've asked High Performance expert Lisa McInnes Smith to join me to share some practical things we can do to get our lives back into a positive groove, where we can continue to grow, develop and expand our abilities.
It's a fun chat packed with great ideas. If you want to know how to maximise your ability to get the most out life in isolation, this episode is for you.
00:00:00:02 - 00:01:17:27
Paul: One of the many challenges we've all had to face since being required to go into isolation and manage our way through the coronavirus is that it really has messed with our rhythm of life and that many of us find ourselves out of rhythm, out of groove and trying to figure out how to make this all work for us. And of course that often requires forming new habits new behaviors new ways of thinking and so these are challenging times when we're out of rhythm at home trying to make it all work. So I thought I'd ask a good friend of mine Lisa McInnes Smith to join me a high performance expert a woman who has influenced millions of people around the world with her high performance strategies to join us and share some insights into how we can get that rhythm back. How we can get a groove going in our lives that is comfortable that allows us to explore new possibilities and to confidently develop our skills and our abilities and recognize our talents even when we're locked away in isolation. It's always a fun conversation with Lisa and this one is no exception. It's packed with lots of great ideas to help you develop a new rhythm for your life in isolation and to help you to stay positive during some of these challenging times. So we before we dive into that conversation with Lisa let's cue the intro
00:01:30:01 - 00:01:45:18
Warwick: Welcome to the marketers club podcast. The show all about helping you work smarter earn more and accelerate your success. And now here's your host Paul McCartney.
00:01:48:15 - 00:03:01:23
Paul: So welcome to episode 36 of the marketers club podcast I am your host Paul McCarthy and I'm here to help you market your talent, so you can earn what you're worth and ultimately make more of a difference in the world. Great to have you company again for another episode. Now I don't know about you but certainly this whole life of isolation and not being able to do the things that I regularly do has kind of knocked me out of rhythm a little bit where I feel not quite centered in what I'm doing and having to discover new ways of doing things. And I thought getting Lisa McInnes Smith on, a woman who has literally transformed the lives of millions of people through her high performance strategies helping people to find their best selves in a time when we've got to develop new habits new patterns new rhythms of behavior although there's no one better for us to talk to to shed some light on exactly how we can get back to some sense of comfort about the way that we're living our lives get a new sense of normal rhythm going for ourselves. So what Lisa's ideas are always practical she's a great fun lady to chat to. So I don't want to keep you waiting any longer. Let's dive into my conversation with Lisa McGinnis Smith. So Lisa McGinnis Smith welcome to the markets club podcast. Great to have you on the show.
00:03:01:25 - 00:03:03:21
Lisa: Always great to be chatting with you Paul
00:03:04:14 - 00:03:33:21
Paul: Look it's a trying time that we're all going through with this coronavirus people living in isolation lots of changes are bad and you've spent a career really helping people to move through change to find their best selves. And I thought it was really timely for us to have a conversation to get some of your advice about some of the things we're all going through and how we maybe can be embracing some of that and letting go of some of the old and starting to step towards the new.
00:03:33:23 - 00:03:51:28
Lisa: So I like that you were saying that it's a trying time because I think that yes we've got to try stuff. It's a time to try stuff you know. It's not a time to go Oh I can't. It's like no. Kate looking to try some new things because the world is new and that even just become playful about.
00:03:52:29 - 00:04:15:09
Paul: Well it's a good place for us to start things that we can start playing around with and being creative and exploring new options and ideas. So let's chat about some of these things that when we start to think about the need to refresh recharge reinvent really to change some of the ways we've been going about it. What are some of the things we need to think about as we venture down this new path.
00:04:15:11 - 00:05:37:11
Lisa: I think we first have to figure out what is it that you need to do to refresh. Because sometimes when you're already feeling either overloaded or fatigued or overwhelmed if you're feeling like you're anxious well then we need to deal with that first because sometimes we need to create some activity before we can actually change our mindset. So like you know we're saying everybody while you work while you're at home you've got to be physical. That's actually one of the best ways to get rid of that sense of anxiousness is to actually move make sure that the body is doing something that's allowing you to create natural hormones to come out and play with people because you know when I do conferences pull I tell them three o'clock squats whenever you feel like you need coffee you need to do squats first. And they laugh and they go oh how many I go Well you know you could probably start with 10 but I seen once you've started I'm sure there's a bit of momentum and you think gosh I could probably do a few more because people think when they're fatigued that they need an artificial stimulant. In actual fact when you're fatigued you need to move. And so you know getting people to be playful and just getting up on the desk and having a little dance put your favorite song on. I get down do some bopping I mean you're an old rocker from way back Paul.
00:05:37:18 - 00:05:40:16
Paul: Turn on the tunes and dance around in my underpants. No Worries I'm into that.
00:05:41:29 - 00:05:42:23
Lisa: I didn't say the underpants were a prerequist.
00:05:46:17 - 00:06:25:13
Paul: So but I think it's really important for us because it is about creating rhythms and new sort of structures. I mean there's a lot of people that are almost rejoicing in the fact that if you like that they stay at home. Elements have meant that people are not fussed about having to get dressed up in business suits and having no apply makeup or potentially you know shave every day or whatever it was. So they're enjoying some of those elements but then as you say we could maybe just sit locked at a desk working away and forget to energize ourselves so what otherwise can we create a bit of energy. How can we bounce out and get ourselves sort of feeling in the right state first lesson.
00:06:25:23 - 00:07:30:02
Lisa: Well I think first thing you've got to actually have a plan not for to say what's the first thing I'm going to do in the morning particularly when you don't have to get up and be ready. So you know I've been like this morning I got up with my husband my son and we went through a great long brisk walk along the beach. You know it's not that many ran it's early it feels fabulous and then you come back and feel like oh wow now I'm well I feel like a shower and I'm ready to get going. So I get up every morning now and go for a walk and sometimes I tell myself I'll just walk up the street and back because you know when you wake up some mornings you don't want to walk. You don't feel like it got didn't need to do it. The weather is not good but I'm doing it to start a new rhythm and a new pattern. So that whole idea of making it as simple as having all your running gear or your walking gear like ready to go have it all out you know make it easy so that you just get up put it on. Walk out the door and half the challenge is to get it out the door. The most people. And once we get out the door the brian is actually starts to plan through the day. You know you get out you start walking.
00:07:30:04 - 00:08:22:23
Lisa: It feels good. It's amazing how the brain actually functions better with some fresh air and some movement. And usually then you actually feel like oh this is gonna be a good day. So we almost trying to set up a predisposition that this isn't just the same old same model I'm at home and you for it can't get out the door and walk. It's the same thing. It's like you need to just put the music on and you need to start almost matching you know on the spot legs up because there's no excuse for us not to move it's just a matter of do we go anywhere. Somebody Somebody will walk into the coffee shop you know if they've got one nearby. It's better right. It's just sometimes giving us a target just to give it a go. 15 letter boxes and back that don't just get me started because most people are not going off from appointments go to just get ourselves moving have a bit of a plan of movement.
00:08:22:25 - 00:08:45:10
Paul: I think there's perhaps there's a lot of people out there many of the people listening today that stuck maybe in a mindset of thinking about what's lost what they're not doing rather than focusing on what they can do so is part of I guess the refreshing of ourselves as people to start focusing on what we do want or what we can do rather than focusing on what we can't do.
00:08:45:25 - 00:09:58:25
Lisa: Oh absolutely. Because if we're looking back all the time it just steals your energy and it steals you Joy. So you know I'm sometimes laugh I'm at conferences saying look you really are a slow starter in this in the morning first thing you need to do is make your bed because we do know that that little tiny pattern. Pull up the bed means you start to get order in your day. And the second thing is you need to drop on the floor and due to push ups and people get to push ups. What's it going to push ups as well. Yes it's one of the largest muscle groups in the body. Lot of blood pumps to the brining it wakes you up really fast especially if you're not a morning person. And again you might do if you will while you're down there but you actually tease yourself by saying I need to do two and that too actually allows you to start a new pattern because what we're saying isn't it. Hey I'm unhappy I go to the gym I might not be able to go for a bike ride but I could just get on the floor in my own bedroom and pump a little iron so to speak. I usually have body weights more than enough and just do some pushups and you feel like oh actually I might do a little bit more now that I've started, but you only need to set your mind on one thing cause that's enough to actually change the pattern. Here's a can do rather than can't do
00:09:59:06 - 00:10:29:04
Paul: So in terms of a program that you've been developing this whole idea of refresh which you started before we had a coronaviruses before the world sort of came to a standstill and we went into isolation. So what are some of the reasons that you saw that we need to have a refresh in our lives at. Whether that's by accident or design we've kind of been forced to a place where it's time to do that. So talk me through some of the thinking about your idea of why it's time to refresh.
00:10:29:28 - 00:12:00:05
Lisa: Well I think back then I was asking people you know what's your biggest challenge at the moment. And my son would say I'm overloaded or overwhelmed. And do you think about it parents right now could say they are overloaded and overwhelmed because they're trying to school their kids at home. They try to run their businesses but in actual fact it's within a completely different structure. And obviously overload and overwhelmed is a mindset. It's not just your reality because many people can do a great deal and achieve a great deal but they're not overwhelmed by it but other people can be just doing mundane activities and feel completely overloaded. So the mindset that goes with this is really important to look at when I say to people you know I'm teaching a program at the moment to press the reset button if I guess I'd like to do that so well why would you like to do that. You I just feel out of control. It did not feel like that the world around me is making me have to fit into its pattern rather than me starting to control things which is what's so lovely about a complete change when things are completely disrupted. Do you have a chance to think about oh what do I want to control in my life. In most cases what are the key things you want to improve your relationship. You want to improve your health.
00:12:00:07 - 00:13:31:27
Lisa: You don't want to be so stressed. You actually want some creativity for your business or your job. I mean most of us are aspirational we're achievement creatures we love to aspire and continually create something. So we're always looking for the new and the fresh and the things that might come into our world that bring that. But I think the problem is people focus too much on the outcome of that instead of the process because what really what challenges life is changing some little habit in our world. And then. You start getting a different result. For example if your relationships just style or you know you feel like you're bickering with each other the first thing you need to do is just start catching people doing something right and saying it just simply complimenting anything that they do that you think is pleasant kind of organized you know what we just said. Oh that was good thinking Oh yeah thanks for that capital you'll. I love the way the kitchen's looking great. We noticed stuff most of the reasons that relationships start to dissolve is because people don't notice what the other one does will. And I just noticed everything that they don't like about what that person does. And of course the better you know them the more you can not like it.
00:13:32:20 - 00:14:40:12
Paul: And I think the main one of the things that this period of history may reflect is that it was a moment to stop and be grateful for things chatting with a bunch of my friends that I play masters soccer with and we were talking about the fact that it's you know that's certainly something that I miss in our current state of isolation as being I have to get out there and kick a ball around with that with my mates doing that because it's something that I love and enjoy. And one of them said you know we're going to come back to this and we're just gonna have a whole new appreciation for it. But it is about moments of gratitude. Now the things that you do have I know we were talking before we started that I've been really grateful for the fact that I get more dinner time conversation with my children now because they're not as busy there at home instead of in on their activities and out and about doing the they think so there are elements to be really grateful for. But I think you're highlighting for us the need to stop and notice and actually my comment to the other person let them know that we notice it.
00:14:40:16 - 00:16:18:12
Lisa: Yes because I was talking to my children about you know well what happens when life is disrupted and what is the key essentials to a life that works. You know what I said might not be all happy but what makes it work. We say well someone to love some way to live and something to do when it comes to and that's pretty much the crux of of the activities of life. I said it it sounds quite simple. I said you've got to understand that you've got to be grateful if you've got someone to love if someone cares about you that's really you know that's that's really valuable if that's some way to live. Look at all the people you've got the struggle of your arm are wrenching at the moment. Am I not reaching am I going to be thrown out. I got enough money. That's a huge pressure. So if you've got a home and you can still pay off your mortgage. I mean that makes us what I said the top three percent of the world. People often are looking again what they that they can't have quicker but not enough height. You know you got to bed to sleep. I mean come on this is a lot of gratitude. I mean I personally am happy in a caravan. And you know when we travel around Australia in a caravan that it's we learned wow we are really content as a little unit with very simple living. And it changed our perspective from that point on as to how we did life as a family. As you said having dinner together we know that's crucial really too happy family unit and also to stability for kids you know they always know that meal's going to be there.
00:16:18:14 - 00:17:46:11
Lisa: They might miss it but you know they know that the family still there having that meal. Is that those patterns are really important for wellbeing. You know you can't do it at dinner time then can you do it. You know as a cup of tea and a biscuit before bed or can you do it as a breakfast routine. I mean most of us have no reason right now not to do family meals and also to make sure that there's a rhythm and pattern in Who's cooking the meal that meal preparation is something that we do together because I think for a lot of working mums and dads it they. Sometimes when you're so busy you don't have time to get your kids organized to participate. You just get those meals out here. Yeah. You're not thinking about the structure of one minute. All right. You know I was making cooking tonight. Know it's Kelly's turn tonight on I think Christian's going to do it tonight. And I think her husband's going to help that like trying to figure out who's gonna do what as a gift to one another is also part of creating a real sense of unity. And you know you don't even have to have family to do this of course for those people that live in you know share homes like Friends of the family you choose for yourselves. You literally can make life work with whomever you're doing life leads if you can give some sense of rhythm and pattern to the mealtime meals matter. We keep getting hungry we do that.
00:17:46:28 - 00:18:36:20
Paul: We do, maybe more often than I'd like at the moment but that's a different conversation. Right. So I should walk past don't stop that's the key. But I'm curious also about what I've sort of observed certainly around me is that with the changing of the life I guess the dynamic of life one of the things I've noticed is an increased desire to tap into one's creativity that I've noticed in my children that you know my sons and I've got out the paint brushes and start painting and the things that he likes but he just seldom ever has time to do. Now I'm thinking about that the value for us to start to tap into our more creative sides.
00:18:37:02 - 00:19:45:03
Lisa: And of course that creativity opens up parts of our brain that nothing else does. Which also means sometimes it's part of that you know something to someone to love somewhere to live and somebody do something to do sometimes is not the mundane you know it's something creative. It's why you can see people renovating their homes and you know painting outside and then doing things but better still to actually create something you know knitting crocheting painting plastering fixing and creating something you know on the back fence painting the back fence fences bright colors. Yeah some of them are putting up lights in their homes because they're actually living more in that. So creativity is actually very replenishing. You know every time you do something you haven't done before. It allows your brain to take a risk. Well I guess maybe you don't care what the feedback is from others whereas you know for those of us that are in business we don't make mistakes we want to. We want to do something but we want it to work. But the reality is you usually do something poorly before you do it will.
00:19:45:06 - 00:19:45:22
00:19:45:24 - 00:20:09:03
Lisa: And you have to nurture your way through the growth. I mean you know that at marketers club you're always nurturing people to grow their skills. And even if they don't get it quite right they get others to feedback off and oh how do I do that. Because sometimes we're really not interested in the detail until we're in the thick of it. You can't be told how to paint before you start painting.
00:20:09:08 - 00:20:40:12
Paul: Now it is about as I often you know certainly from a commercial point of view a lot of entrepreneurs have a resistance to their creativity because they are afraid of making mistakes. And we do get that little voice that talks to us and says oh you know you don't want do that you're not that good at art or whatever it is. But I mean you have an idea or a principle that you teach about this idea of superpowers. And for us to tap into that talked to me a little bit about that about us recognizing what our superpowers are and how we can start to draw on those more.
00:20:41:02 - 00:21:52:08
Lisa: Because I think that sometimes we have strengths that we don't really appreciate because what we do is we look at what other people do well and we compare what they do well to what we do poorly instead of like oh I want what do I do well. And it takes a while sometimes they can recognize what you do well because you do it so effortlessly you do it without thinking and therefore you minimize it as if it's of no value. So I think sometimes asking other people one of my strengths really helpful asking your partner what do you see as my strengths. Well sometimes you know I can degrees up and you find out a whole lot of stuff but you should have known all along. I'm asking you kids as a parent what are my strengths helps you to do more of the things that they've already noticed that they think are good because sometimes we don't even know what they like about why we parent them then they're letting you know. So yeah I think these can be superpowers. So I'm just going to use one with the kids my kids knew I was spontaneous you know no matter where we were what we were doing I would look around and go all right.
00:21:52:10 - 00:23:42:16
Lisa: Right you have a straight face 150 meters like just make a little game out of wherever you're at or. All right. He can sing you can sing to investors in that song quick. And all these little fun things that allow us to just try stuff you know we don't know whether we we can't. We know the words or not of a particular song but we just start singing. Is it the super power sometimes for me in parenting was spontaneity. I was willing to try stuff make things again. Even though you know we're doing might be mundane things like preparing meals or washing up bowl getting ready for homework. But we have a super power probably in at least eight areas of our lives. You know when we divide our lot up into goal setting areas you know we'll have maybe a superpower in our finances in the way we manage things. You know there's a good chance that you got 10 things that you do really badly but you might have one thing that you do really well and you better to build on that rather than constantly berate yourself about what you do poorly. So this is part of the refresh when it comes to mindset the way we talk to ourselves about what how we do life is absolutely critical. You know my husband was chasing through years of receipts so mistakes haven't been our strongest. You know we travel all the time and we let them pile up and they're in in life's collections. So he's had all this time to sort out the receipts and we've been talking about the fact that he's just had a Jets putting a whole new system. But he said I never felt like I could put the system in until I caught up. Sometimes it's just the way we talk to ourselves. It's like now we can try something new at any time.
00:23:42:18 - 00:25:25:11
Lisa: All we need is for someone else to not nag us but to say How's it going. Yes but of playfully. That's the other thing. You need someone that nurtures you playfully because sometimes we don't like being held to account if we are struggling ourselves with you know doing the activity. So superpower may be in your finances a superpower and yet the way you manage your health a superpower and the way you manage relationships and the way you do your business planning. So there's lots of categories but I think the most powerful area for superpowers is in the way we think and the way we speak and the way we nurture our own capacities. So let's think about you have a very talented soccer playing son and I'm sure that for him to get to this stage he said that both he and you speak quite positively in the way you build his skills. Well I know you Paul I mean you are you're a builder. You're a natural builder and so you're doing that but nobody learns that from you that you're teaching him. And wait until he learns that same voice. And that's a problem in some families where the parents are pushing not nurturing. You know with a nagging rather than encouraging and the word nurture is pretty important because it is a superpower to be able to get yourself out of stress and get yourself to come. Most of us know what that feels like. It's like if you say to someone just clam down, that is the worst thing you can say to someone
00:25:27:10 - 00:26:16:12
Paul: That doesn't often help to calm you doesn't when somebody is telling you to do that are you. It's like saying get be happy. You know it's like no don't do that. But I suspect that one of the side effects if you like of being in the place that we find ourselves now is that there is a little less pressure on us as we explore and develop some of these superpowers because they come with maybe a little less judgment. And as you say perhaps the most difficult judgment to get past is our own our own self judgment that voice that's going on inside our head. So any clues tips on what we can do to quiet. And that part of our mind that's whispering in our ear and telling us that we're not good at this.
00:26:16:14 - 00:27:39:23
Lisa: Yes. Singing Singing is a really powerful tool because sometimes it's easier to sing the truth and then to say it. So if you can get a couple of lines of a song that uplifts you and then just you you make sure that you've got the words and you might stick them on the bathroom wall. They might you know put them somewhere in your find you can access them easily. You didn't get to see them and their words that you know when you hear that song you love that song. And so some people don't even like singing because I don't think that they can sing well. This is one area where the tune does not matter. It only matters is it you say the words out loud to yourself. Now if it was just as simple as hey all right. Every time you get distressed state you have a list of words. So someone might see patterns one is to sing the words and one is to declare the words. So I'm quite practiced at this where I write a list of declarations and I've got them written at the moment three of them on my bathroom mirror in red lipstick three declarations myself of this season things that I want to affirm about the way I do life even though I've practiced this for years I know the power is in the visual seeing it because I don't have to think I get out but going into the bathroom be the words right out.
00:27:40:02 - 00:28:55:12
Lisa: Now I just see those words I read them but I know it's more powerful to say them than just see them. President that gets to hear the words and it's your voice. And of course then it's building your memory and it's going into the brain. So just say the words that you need to hear or to sing the words you need to hear. Credit deluxe circuit breakers. They break the mood it's a little bit like when I coach high performing tennis players. I was working with a group of children between 7 and 13 recently and we were talking about control of their temper. Many kids love to win hate to lose. I haven't quite yet learned to appreciate but sometimes they learn more from the losses than they do from winning and they need the lessons that go with it. So we were talking to the kids about you know what they do and how some of them just show their anger. You know they say things that aren't helpful light criticized the parents that are watching they throw their racket one little boy just by company said what not just seeing myself happy and I watched does this group of kids just win That's his secret.
00:28:55:14 - 00:30:47:24
Lisa: Because they've always known this. This child is super calm and he said I just know that when I'm angry it doesn't help me play better. So he said I've learnt to sing myself a little song and it calms me down. He says I've picked the song. I said no one else can hear it I'm singing it in my head sometimes you know I might be humming it someone might be aware but usually no one is aware except me. He said but it changes my whole ability to you know hold the line to just keep that control and I think that many of us don't realize that's the secret power that child has a superpower knows how to sing himself happy you know under pressure in the cage in the middle of the war. You know it's all happening. It's a little bit like if you know there's chaos going on this sibling fighting and there's a lot of noise. I remember when my kids were screaming some was in the back of a car at one another I would start singing over the top of them a song called Zippy doo doll something I learnt when I was a kid and it sort of took them side by surprise is definitely saying get kids be quiet. I didn't join the fray. I added a different level of of attitude and I literally just sang louder because it was a bit noisy for a while but it changed the atmosphere and part of this is how do you change the atmosphere. Enjoy it because you can change it in your head then you can change it in your home and you can change it in your workplace and you don't always have to win you know like be that person that has the last word because what's the win really the win is when this chaos and it goes to calm you know the witness stress and worry and it goes to oh my clothes and go to creativity so using the words pretty important so declarations.
00:30:47:26 - 00:32:31:21
Lisa: SINGING yourself happy and then sometimes even standing one of your goals out loud with some of the benefits that are going to come with it. So I mean you know my background Paul I mean I wrote it I set a goal to help a million Australian teenagers learn to set goals and really with you learn to set goals and you learn to solve problems because they are the same process. And I used to go out and speak in schools and I'd be so frustrated sometimes at not being able to get the kids to latch onto my ideas because I had more passion than talent back then in getting their attention and so I would come home and I would say to myself I am helping a million teenagers and this is the benefits that I'm going to see as I achieve that goal. And it wasn't the goal that inspired me at all at that stage in fact I sometimes wanted to spread that goal happens and that's never going to work. And every time I read the benefits that's what would inspire me to persevere. So I think again it was an outlet thing I'm sticking on the back of the toilet door and I would be able to read those benefits out loud that knows what I'm doing. I'm talking to myself about my life out loud so that my ears get to hear it because unfortunately when we let the words in our head just swim around and around our own commentary on life it can feel like a fishbowl over which you have no control. And it almost feels like it's taking over but no no you can interrupt that at any time with a noise with a song with the statement with a goal with a declaration. And these super powers are pretty important.
00:32:31:23 - 00:32:44:19
Paul: Lisa can you give us a quick example of in terms of if we're writing a goal or writing a Declaration what that might look like if we're gonna write it out for ourselves and stick it on our bathroom mirror. How would it read?
00:32:45:13 - 00:35:37:28
Lisa: I will I'll give you one. Okay. So when I move from I'm helping a million Australian teenagers I say well wait a minute I'm thinking too small because you know once I started to hit the numbers of the kids I am actually going to put positive input to a million Australian families and that's what I did. I am going to is like none of that doesn't work. It's got to be current present tense I am it's gonna be not that tense. I am I am positively assisting one million Australian families I am inspiring relationships to be warmer more intimate more nurturing. I am helping siblings to get along and to love the company of a brother and sister. I am helping people in my business world to lead and noticeable if they get to lead. How do we want to lead I'm helping people to lead with patience with curiosity with kindness. We need to find it in our souls. What I want to affirm and it doesn't mean that these words the true you know can I say it sometimes you just you aspire to something that's not true for you right now. It's a little bit like if there's a mum or dad listening right now and you're always angry you know you always find it your default position when things feel stressful you go to anger you go to loud voice you go to angry voice it's like all right look can we make a different default position. Can I pick up where can I stop saying to myself I am calm and I am kind and I am patient and you're right that across your bathroom mirror and I tell you it'll be tested every single day. But the minute you've got it written and you read it in the present tense your brain starts acting as if that's true because your brain doesn't know the difference between something vividly imagined and something that's actually happening in reality in real time. So that's how we help move behavior to it. You know like if we move that now away from the angry parent and put it into the environment of the high performing athlete who yes they can see that they're not winning and they can be getting angrier and angrier with themselves whether it's you know on a football field or whether it's on a tennis court. But that ability to take control and rein in that anger let's say within 15 seconds or five seconds when you start to know that you've got this skill down pat.
00:35:38:00 - 00:36:26:06
Lisa: You know the used to say to people look you can start measuring measuring your emotional health by the distance between when you've made the mistake and when you admit it. This is to as you just admitted are that you can say things about that was stupid and then you go wait a minute actually that wasn't helpful. You rephrase it. I could do that better. I could say that another way. I know with my kids if I'm just as bad off and have an angry at first I go Sorry let me try that again one theory quickly pick it up. Well that's you know I'm not going to hire you is useless to stop. Let me try that again because people around you are very happy for you to not be angry.
00:36:27:08 - 00:36:32:15
Paul: No one stops you from having a second go if it's gonna be less angry.
00:36:32:20 - 00:36:34:21
00:36:34:23 - 00:37:06:20
Paul: So Lisa in terms of one of the other principles that I want to touch on before we wrap up is this idea of obviously you've been touching on it in different ways. It's really the habits that we have. Ultimately all of these things are patterns they are habits that we have. So we're really about conditioning ourselves to form new habits and then how to stack these habits together on top of each other. So tell me a little bit about this idea of habit stacking and how we start to develop new patterns for ourselves.
00:37:07:08 - 00:38:55:11
Lisa: So let me just sell you first on why you want to start a new habit. Because really what we know is that if one positive life giving habit goes into your life and it stays there. Man may be impact on your life is massive. So I've heard of something proposed by Craig Rochelle who said what happens if you put in 10 10 new habits and you keep them for a lifetime. Ten small doable habits that actually make a big difference could actually change the direction of your life. So one example would be that you only speak the solution that you don't speak the problem to people. You know you always got this optimistic positive view of what we could do now for some people that'll be like. But just know that if that was a big goal I'm actually going to always speak solutions into difficult situations. I'm mean to be looking at Kink with curiosity how I do this. That one goal could change the success of a business success to the way they manage people. Certainly the success of the way they relate to people because you stop getting angry at people who get curious as to why they did what they did and then you find out why they did what they did and then you stop communicating you got this great understanding which now means you can build with that person no you don't have to agree to get a bill together you just need to better understand how each other thinks so I know this if you start one really powerful good habit it's as simple as it might be once you've got it in your life you're doing it.
00:38:55:13 - 00:40:58:29
Lisa: We know that it's easier to stick another to connect another habit to the one that's already working because it's already got rhythm and pattern in your life. It's sort of anchored somewhere and so therefore it's easy to add a habit on top of that one than it is to just randomly put on another habit in your life somewhere else. Then that's what we know about when it comes to health and fitness. You know if you if you do the two pushups in the morning then you're likely while you're doing dendritic pushups already on the floor you might think I might do a couple of sit ups while I'm here or much stretch my back and I'll do a couple of leg rolls to the side. You can see can't you how it would be very easy to get five little exercises side by side that you now do as a way of life and you never stop it but it still starts with the one. So I challenge people if you're not an exercise person then the two pushups is a really wonderful place because you've got to get on the floor. Sometimes it's the hardest thing somebody will say to me it's just my knees getting down there all right. Yeah well you damn it do as much as it can. I want to get there. I could do a whole lot more. Get the car get back up again. So that's good. You know we even can eat like these are the habit in the morning I call the morning ritual. Make you beat to pushups then the connected exercises that I never do with it. Oh I shower systems. You know one of the system people I've got medication going to take you know make sure you never miss your medication because you always have it. You know as soon as you get to your bathroom sink or you know it sits next to your toothbrush. These little systems that have fireproof proof because the more that you do automatically without having to think about it the less effort it is That's. Why habits are so effective because eventually they require a little effort little mental power. You just do it automatically. That's one of the challenges of starting don't try and start too many at once.
00:40:59:01 - 00:41:54:22
Paul: Yeah and it is a key obviously to not overwhelm ourselves by trying to do too many things but build a habit and then build on a habit makes perfect sense and certainly you know with the you know the 12 week marketing makeover program that I deliver a big part of that program one of the big byproducts of it is the forming of the habit of working on one's marketing on a weekly basis. And so by just having the discipline to come to that for an hour or two every week week in week out for 12 weeks by the time you get to the end of it you are in a habit of putting some focus on your marketing. And I have no doubt that it's as much that as it is the lessons inside the program that actually help people to do the transformation because they now start to focus on that on an ongoing basis and it grows and it just gets better and better and better for the business as they form that habit and they move forward.
00:41:54:24 - 00:42:12:19
Lisa: I can see that it is also as they forming your habits your providing other people to that they walk alongside and they talk about the same issues and so you also feel supported as you're doing your habits. And that's a big thing. You know someone loves somewhere to live and something to do.
00:42:13:02 - 00:42:32:24
Paul: And somoeone with us. And you've been such an inspiration to me over so many years and it's one of my great thrills to be able to call you a friend in my world. Thrilled to have had you on the show. But I want to make sure that if people want to reach out and connected you what's the best way for them to do that for them to connect with you and learn more from you.
00:42:33:16 - 00:43:17:12
Lisa: Well I'm not like to receiving gifts from me Paul. I was thinking that I would let your listeners receive my latest online program and all they need to do is punch in. lisamcsmith.com and that will take them to the mini refresh program that I have recently created this season. Wonderful three modules just 25 minutes won't take long. Let's watch during. It won't take long. I can repeat it and listen to it often and it would maybe be great for them and for the work colleagues or maybe even their partner or family. So it is www.Lisamcsmith.com for those that don't know Mc Smith.
00:43:19:18 - 00:43:51:02
Paul: So a fine Scottish name. so look it's it's great. And we should just clarify that that you are Lisa McInnes Smith but you've developed an online profile of Lisa Mc Smith because of some people having challenges spelling and doing those sort of things. So is it lisamcsmith.com is where we want to go. So thanks again so much for taking time out to share some wisdom with all the listeners of the marketers club podcast.
00:43:51:04 - 00:43:53:13
Lisa: A real pleasure. We'll see you later. Bye now.
00:43:54:03 - 00:44:53:20
Paul: So I hope you enjoyed that conversation with Lisa McInnes Smith has said packed with great ideas simple ideas for us to start forming some new habits and patterns so maybe we start dropping out of bed in the morning as Lisa suggests and just get down to a couple of pushups and who knows maybe as you head down there you is like well getting up even harder so just keep doing a couple more. But having some plans and some goals for ourselves some structures maybe it's about as Lisa suggested putting up some notes or writing out what it is that you're intending to do setting some goals and putting it in the affirmative the language that you are being that right now. I think that's one of the keys that we're not becoming something we've got to be something we've got to start behaving thinking talking and acting. However it is that we want to see that manifest itself in the world and as it Lisa invited you to recommend that you go to her Web site to LisamcSmith.com and take the free mini refresher course.
00:44:53:22 - 00:45:40:00
Paul: Give yourself a little starting point to really refresh and start to form some new habits and new ways of talking to ourselves. And I think that's one of the most important things that we are talking to ourselves gently kindly and really encouraging yourself to keep just expanding and learning and growing. These are tough times so don't be too hard on yourself. So really enjoyed the opportunity to bring you this episode look forward to bringing you another great episode. Next week we're going to be looking at the whole conversation of branding and particularly your brand name and what's in a name. So I'll talk to you about that more next week. So until we meet again I wish you all the very best of luck with your businesses. But much much more importantly with your lives. Take care. Bye for now